Winter / Spring 2006 Issue
A Return to Rostov
Roxanne and Wael Jaber adopted their daughter Lara from Rostov, Russia, in March of 2003. The Jabers had a wonderful experience in Rostov and they knew that when the time came, they would like to adopt their second child from Rostov as well.
In September of 2005, the Jabers traveled to Rostov to meet their second daughter, Maya. The following article is comprised of Roxanne’s correspondences upon the family’s return to Rostov to meet their daughter and sister.
September 20, 2005
“Greetings from Rostov-on-don, Russia! Here we are again and it is so nice to be back. It has changed so much since we were here two years ago. For starters (and shockers), our once old, tired Soviet-style Intourist hotel is now a 4-star gorgeous luxury hotel with, hands down the most beautiful lobby and best breakfast we have ever had in all of our travels (inclusive of Wael’s 5-star trips to Dubai and Switzerland)... all for only $130 a night. It pays to be away from Moscow. This hotel (now called the Don-Plaza hotel) is way better than the Sheraton and the Marriott Tverskaya in Moscow... especially considering the value.
We can’t tell you how amazing it is to see Rostov not covered in snow and ice. There is a rainbow of color in the many parks and street-sides, the weather is terrific — 70’s, breezy and no humidity. There is life on the streets at all times of the day and night. While Mosocw was cold drizzly and basically depressing, Rostov is vibrant and uplifting. It is so heartening to see the city being restored... all the gorgeous old architecture being polished back to its pre-Communist splendor. Lara is loving playing in the park and at the many playgrounds. There is a small “Gorky Park” here that has a ferris wheel, pony rides, etc. We haven’t been to the circus or zoo yet but will do so on trip #2. For now, she is loving life. But she keeps asking “when am I going to see my baby sister”; “I need my baby sister.”
Well, today is the big day. It is Tuesday and we are meeting our coordinator at 9:30am to go to “Maya Vicotria’s” baby home. We are all very excited.
Yesterday (Monday), we visited Lara’s baby home (Baby Home #4). They were so happy we came and so thrilled to see Lara. Lara kissed everybody and was simply the best little ambassador. She got to visit her room where she used to sleep and got to smile and sing for the babies. She was so happy to see the babies and wanted to stay longer but we had come at their nap time. We saw many of the caretakers we knew two years ago and the main doctor, Dr. Olga, was there and was very gracious and appreciative of our visit. Lara brought them diapers, formula and laundry detergent. They all gave her hugs and kisses. It was very emotional.
Tonight, we hope to visit a doctor-friend of ours who no longer works at Lara’s baby home. Hopefully, we will have some celebrating to do, as we will have hopefully met baby Maya and will have been able to sign some contractual papers confirming our adoption process.
We are on pins and needles, but fortunately we are far from “roughing” it here in Rostov. It is as if it is the birth place of all three of us... and hopefully all four of us!”
September 21, 2005
“Well, yesterday (9/20/05), was “Maya Victoria” day for us. We met her at 11 in the morning at Baby Home #2. We were all in love at first sight. Lara sang to her and was ever so gentle, as Maya cried in apprehension and the newness of our faces and voices. Lara cried when we had to leave her to go to lunch. We told her that she had to eat and take a nap and she wanted to stay and lie next to her.
Suffice it to say that she is beautiful — big blue eyes, and alot more hair (blond) than Lara had at this age. She is more slight than Lara with more delicate bone structure. If I had to stereotype, I would peg Maya as our ballet dancer and Lara as our olympic swimmer and athlete. She is very healthy, however the poor thing is really teething up a storm. She has like 4 teeth coming in all at the same time.
She is super alert and extremely aware of her environment... she was quite upset to be thrust into our strange arms so quickly. As many of you know, this is a good sign, as she is obviously attached to her caretakers and did not want to be without at least one of them in the room. However, after about a half hour, she warmed up to our presence and could not keep her eyes off her captivating and utterly sweet and doting new big sister.
When we visited her in the afternoon, Lara was napping in the car with our coordinator. She was much more comfortable with us during this second visit and we had a great time singing songs and just holding her. It is going to be hardest on Lara to leave for home tomorrow without her... Lara is already expressing that she wants to stay here until Maya can come home with us!
We spent the evening with our lovely friend, Natalya (one of Lara’s doctors from her baby home) and her sister, Tamara. It was like a dream to see them again, and we are looking forward to spending lots of time with them on our second trip. Lara adores them and even invited them to sleep over in our hotel room! Her happiness has been key on this trip and we are so grateful for her contentment and easy ability to adapt.
We will email you all from home with pictures when we arrive, God Willing, tomorrow night.”
September 24, 2005
“Well, we are home from our first of two trips to Russia... fshew! We met out new daughter, Maya Victoria Jaber, on Tuesday, September 20th. She is ten months old right now. It was so hard to leave her there!! It was especially hard on her big sister, Lara... she did not want to leave Rostov without her. We pray we will get a court date sometime in November so that we can bring her home before Christmas. With any luck, we may be there for her 1st birthday on November 12th... Anything, just as long as we can bring her home as soon as possible.
We are all in love and waiting anxiously to go back to Rostov to complete our family.”
The Jaber family returned with Maya in mid-November, 2005. Mom and Dad report that they are all very busy and very happy.
Early Intervention and Internationally Adopted Children
Marci and Rob Weidler adopted their son Samuel from Moscow, Russia, in October of 2004. Sam was 15 months when he came home with his parents. The Weidlers knew that children who live in orphanages are at risk for developemental delays, so shortly after Sam’s arrival, they scheduled an evaluation to determine if he would benefit from assistance. In the following article, Marci describes how to access available services and offers ways to effectively partner with your child’s therapist.
[Early Intervention is designed to provide services and support to help families with children with developmental delays. Early intervention builds upon the natural learning occurring in those first few years.]
When my husband Bob and I adopted our youngest son, Samuel, from Moscow in 2004, it was obvious to us that he had significant language delays and would need help with fine and gross motor skills. At 13 months, Samuel was not babbling or cooing, standing alone or walking, could not feed himself or drink from a sippy cup, but we had faith that he was meant to be our son and confidence that we had the resources to help him grow and develop to his potential.
Between our first and second trips I called to get more information about Early Intervention. Friends of ours with biological children were receiving services for their children’s delays in speech and mild Asperger’s. I was impressed by what I heard… free services with professional therapists, and they come to your home until your child turns age three. We scheduled an evaluation for three weeks after Sam’s arrival home and, as we had suspected, he qualified for services in three of five areas. We then scheduled different therapy sessions one hour each week.
We have two older biological children (ages 4 and 6), and even with the general experience of raising kids there were different challenges with our youngest. In many ways Samuel is a very observant and bright little boy who studies things with the intensity of an engineer. And in other ways it has been clear that the lack of early parenting and skill building in his first year contributed to delays in his physical skills/cognitive learning that will have to be taught... he will not simply “pick it up” unless he is purposefully shown what to do.
That’s where the Early Intervention therapists have been particularly helpful. As toddlers, our older two kids just modeled things after me and each other. With help from the therapists, we figured out that Sam needed repetitive hand-over-hand modeling of even some of the most basic things we take for granted. Also, I wasn’t sure specifically what things we should be focusing on. They helped guide us and give suggestions for what games, toys or other activities would be best in helping him learn things like self feeding, holding a crayon, and helping him communicate his needs to us.
The great news is that his progress over this past year has been tremendous. Now, at 28-months old, Samuel is literally all over the charts when it comes to developmental milestones. Fair-haired, with expressive blue eyes and a sweet smile, his current skill levels in communication, language and fine and gross motor skills range anywhere from that of a 16-month old to that of a 36-month old. He runs, climbs ladders & slides, folds his hands and says a prayer before meals, uses a fork & spoon to feed himself, drinks from a sippy cup, colors with crayons, plays with cars, and is a great “copycat” of his brother and sister. His language skills have improved to where he can closely mimic nearly anything we say and often can communicate his needs with words and sign language.
Each time the therapists set goals or I share a concern, within two weeks it is almost always resolved; the goal has been achieved or, at the very least, progress is made. His latest test scores average out to show slight delays (enough to qualify for services) in language and fine motor skills.
It is my opinion that Early Intervention is a valuable tool for internationally adopted children. The fact is all IA kids will exhibit some delays, even if only from the standpoint of an initial language delay. What you need to determine is how extensive are the delays your child exhibits and what can you do to help them reach their appropriate developmental milestones. Even if your child does not qualify for services, the evaluation alone can help pinpoint areas of strength and weakness that will benefit you and your child in the way of future education and schooling.
When using Early Intervention services, here are a few key points to keep in mind:
Your relationship with your child’s therapist is key to helping your child. It might sound trivial, but when it comes time for scheduling specific therapists, be very clear about the type of people with whom you get along. You may see this person as often as once a week, in your home, so you are looking for someone to partner with you in your child’s development.
During your child’s sessions, ask questions, and lots of them! You should come away from each meeting with at least 2-3 ideas of activities or things you can do with your child to help them develop. (If that’s not happening, or you truly are not comfortable with the therapists’ knowledge level, interaction with your child, etc., it is your right to request a different person… there may be another therapist who would work better with you and/or your child and make the experience entirely different.)
Remember that while therapists are used to seeing developmentally delayed children, many in foster families, some biological, FEW see delayed children who are internationally adopted (for our therapists, our son was the first one.) Share what you know about your child’s history (ex. spent first months in a hospital, was always spoon-fed, only drank from tea cups, etc.) because your child’s past may give clues as to why there is a delay in speech, fine motor skills, etc. Stress that your child’s information is to be kept confidential.
If, after several months home, your child is still having difficulties with things like grocery store outings, fear of elevators, or for toddlers, things like going up/down the slide at the playground, your therapist can meet you at these places and give suggestions on how to deal with the situation.
Include close family members, daycare and church nursery staff in what goals you, your child and the therapist are currently working on if it pertains to the setting. For example, if your child is practicing using a straw (for speech therapy) then you can let others know to give her opportunities to drink using a straw.
For more information, find your state’s Early Intervention website by typing “early intervention” and your state name into a search engine such as Google, or in Pennsylvania, call your local Intermediate Unit Education office to find out about Early Intervention services in your county.
From the Director’s Desk: Sonia Girel
I would like to extend my wishes to everyone for a happy new year and thank you so much for your holiday pictures, greetings and letters which brighten our office each year. As always, it is wonderful to see how your children are growing!
As many of you know, 2005 was a challenging year for Russian adoptions as a result of re-structuring within several Russian Ministries. Despite some delays, Adopt-A-Child continued to bring families and children together. We received our re-accreditation from the Russian Federation in May of 2005, and we are enthusiastic and optimistic as we begin our adoption work in 2006.
The Yevgeny Girel Orphan’s Foundation whose mission is to provide support for children living in Russian orphanages had a successful and busy year. In November, the Foundation held its second annual “To Russia With Love” dinner dance and charity auction. Attendees enjoyed a wonderful gourmet dinner and took home a fabulous array of prizes from the evening’s auction. On behalf of the Foundation, I have been asked to thank Blumling and Gusky LLP, Bombardier and Adopt-A-Child, Inc. for their generosity and support. And I would like to thank everyone whose donations continue to touch the lives of Russian children through the Foundation’s ongoing charitable work.
Upcoming Foundation events include “Two Worlds One Family” fashion show and luncheon on April 1, 2006. Spring fashions, a bake sale, auction and raffles will be featured, and tickets are $25.00. Volunteers are needed, so please call Susie Grasky at 724-746-2184, or Robin Smith at 724-337-0132.
On May 8, 2006, a four person, golf scramble style event will be held at the Nevillewood Country Club. Please contact Jake Smith at 412-352-0859 to learn how to become a corporate, tee, or hole sponsor for the event.
Tammy Engel has also asked that anyone who would like to become involved with the Foundation in any capacity to please call her at 412-835-1342.
On our website, www.adopt-a-child.org we have added a link for families who have completed adoptions to share their stories. Please go to “Parents Speak” and submit your stories.
Finally, we have scheduled our Annual Adopt-A-Child Reunion for June 4, 2006, at the Pittsburgh Zoo. Invitations will be sent in the near future and we look forward to seeing you!
